The title's simple, but so is this blog. I'm not advertising this, so I'm not expecting any comments. I'm not really expecting anyone to read this really. I am really just using this as a form of personal diary, an cyberjournal, if you will. So, there's that. I know why I'm writing this, so why am I explaining it to myself?? :)
I'm afraid I'm pregnant again.
Yeah.
AGAIN.
It's only been six months til my first was born. My first was even a little early in mine and my husband's life plan, but that's ok. We are very thankful that we have the most wonderful little baby in the world. The pregnancy brought a lot of growth in my husband and me and our relationship has really deepened because of it. So praise the Lord for that.
But now, is it really my time again? Is it really already time for another baby? I trust You, Lord, I know that you are in control of all things, and You are watching over me, so whatever happens, happens, and You won't give me more than I can handle. My main prayer for the next pregnancy is that you will change my parents' hearts. I just don't think I could deal with another shocking pregnancy and more, "Well, I don't think this is really the time." and "Was it really God's timing, or did you just rush it for your own foolish desires?" passive-aggressive comments and impressions that my mother gives me.
This is all I can say right now. I may not even be pregnant, so why am I worried about it? I really have the feeling that I'm not, so I don't even know why I am thinking about it so much. I took a pregnancy test on Sunday and it was negative and it is now Wednesday. I was supposed to start last Thursday, so... this happens sometimes, right?
We shall see.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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